


All I ever wanted

by Tantaylor



Series: 24 hours [1]
Category: Duran Duran
Genre: BDSM, D/s, M/M, Pain, mention of anal sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 00:40:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15961013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tantaylor/pseuds/Tantaylor
Summary: Sometimes all you ever wanted is closer than you think.Roger^s POV





	All I ever wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Just another short story  
> like always:  
> English isn^t my native tongue and the fic iis not beta-ed

Goodness, have I missed that!  
Kyle is perfect, just perfect.  
« Yesss » I hiss when his whip meets my back again,  
I^m not fully in yet, not where I want to be, but it won^t take long.  
The humming of the audience is a bit distracting, though.  
Not that I don^t like an audience, I think I’m a bit of an exhibitionist at that point, but it^s the first time in years for me here.  
I don^t care much about that some of them surely know who I am and that^s probably the reason for that constant humming.  
I^m divorced now, there^s no need to hide any more.  
The SM-community use to be very discreet, and even if someone would spill the word…it was my very own decision to step out of the closet and I can handle the consequences.  
Ooof ! Kyle is speeding up here and I have to catch my breath.  
It^s hard to believe that this is our first session. We are matching so well.  
But then, it will most likely be the first and last one.  
To be honest, I simply need to come down to earth, to take the pressure off after the exhausting reunion-tour.  
Hopefully one day i will find a man to share more than a session with, to share my life with, to share all those things about pleasure and pain.  
Time will tell.  
Right here and now, I^m all happy under Kyle^s whip and the perfect mixture of lust and pain.  
He stops again to reach for my rock hard cock, giving it a few gentle strokes.  
Aaaah, fuck!  
My eyes fly open and I almost jump..well, I would jump if not being fixed…when I meet a very familar pair of green eyes in the crowd.  
I can^t help but grin.  
Ha ! I knew he’s into it, i knew it ! And there^s not the slightest doubt about his role in this game.  
The controller doesn’t look very controlling at the moment, though.  
He is staring at me in pure disbelief.  
Whaaaa…?  
Cold liquid at my entrance and I know what will happen next. I close my eyes and allow myself to fly off.  
Nick, the controller, is nowhere in sight when I^m able to notice my sourroundings again after an hour long trip into the land of pleasure and pain.

 

It’s two days later when I come back from my morning run, step out of the elevator and find him, Nick, leaning against the wall beside the door to my appartement.  
„A very good morning to you, Mister Taylor“ he grins, holding up a champagne bottle and a bag.  
« Are you in for a decadent breakfast ? »  
„You bet!“ I smile back, quite surprised by his appearance.  
« Make you feel home » I point at the sofa as we have entered my flat. « I need a quick shower first »  
« Where^s the kitchen ? I will set the table if you don^t mind“ he looks around. He has never been here before and I know quite well why he is here now.  
„How very kind of you, Nicholas. Right there. I will be back in a few.“ Grinning to myself I go to the bathroom.  
„What gives me the honor of your visit?“ I ask when i sit opposite of him at the kitchen table.  
„I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t halluzinating at friday night, I guess“ he winks.  
One thing I really like about him. He’s honest to the bone, almost brutally honest.  
« Oh well, that depends on what exactly you have seen, I^d say » I chuckle.  
« I still can’t believe it, but I have seen my very good friend and bandmate tied up and being whipped. Naked. With clamped nipples.“ He takes a sip of champagne and his intense gaze fixed at me.  
« If you aren’t talking about JT or Simon here, I can assure you that this was no halluzination. »  
« Goodness, Roger ! Thank you very much ! Now it will take me ages to get poor Nigel with nipple clamps out of my head!“ he laughs.  
„Not to your liking?“ I smirked.  
„Hell, no! Not Nige!“ he blurts and there is a moment of silence before he asks „Is he your…your partner? Lover, dom, whatever?“  
„Who, Kyle? Naah. Play partner only. Most likely just for that one game.“ I say, matter of factly.  
„Aha. I have to tell you that it’s still hard to believe, my dear old friend. I thought I know you. Obviously that isn^t the case. It’s not so much that you are into pain. It’s more…hell, in public? And with a man?“  
„I won^t call an SM-club *public*, Nick. About the man…you can say it took me quite a while, but I^m for sure not the only one who has found out about his sexual orientation a little later than others. » I shrug.  
« And by sexual orientation you mean being a masochist or being gay ? »  
« Probably both. It^s about 10 years ago that I made the first steps into it, though. Not that easy to be honest to myself at that point. » I realize that I never have talked about it before and it feels like another big step into the right direction. „Not everyone is so bloody self confident as you, Nicholas. »  
« You seemed to be not very shocked to see me there. I almost spilled my drink when you grinned at me. This man has guts, I thought. Naked and beaten and what is he doing? He grins. Taaa!“ Nick shakes his head.  
„ Ah, that was just because…it wasn’t so much of a surprise to see you there. I have always thought about you as quite dominant.Controller, huh?“ I fill our glasses again, leaning back. Yes, it feels pretty good to talk to someone who understands.  
« Ha! And you don^t have a clue about my sadistic skills , man! May I ask you something very personal ? » again his jade green eyes fixed at me.  
« Er…if that talk isn^t personal, I don^t know what your definition of *personal* is“ I chuckle.  
„What is it for you, Roger? Is it the pain only?“  
Oh, ok, this is indeed a very personal question. And it’s hard to be answered.  
„I don^t know…I mean…I^m not very experienced and it never went any further than whip sessions or other pain things. My fantasies are different, but fantasies are one thing, reality is another… I think I have quite a submissive side also, though. What about you? What is it for you? How do you live it out?“  
« For me it^s about submission. Not easy to live that out when you are Nick bloody fucking Rhodes and you have all those crazy little admirers around who drop to their knees because you are Nick Rhodes and not because…because…ack, I don’t know how to explain it. » he sighs.  
I laugh out loud « Goodness, Nick bloody fucking Rhodes, you really have one big ego, heh ? »  
« Ok, I try again….see, for me it^s about LEADING one into submission. I don^t want a spineless little bootlicker who admires me for being a pop star. I want one who^s feeling it. One strong personality, not a little whimperer«  
« I understand » I nod. „About the leading into it. How would you do it ?“  
„What? To subdue someone? Depends on the person. The reactions. I think dominance is about reading reactions. About sensing needs. It’s about trust, and in a perfect world it would be about love. But it isn^t a perfect world, is it ? I had a four year long relationship based on D/s, and i missed the love. I had a few relationships based on love, and I missed the D/s. Pretty hard to find someone to share everything with. So I live it out like you do…meeting people for sessions. Somehow unpleasant that is. No chance to develop things, to let things grow…wanna hear a fantasy scenario though ? A journey into the twisted mind of Nick bloody fucking Rhodes ? Oh, under one condition…you will tell me one of your’s also ! »  
« As you wish, master. » I grin.  
He laughs quietly .“ Yeah well, I can tell you are a beginner! It^s master Nicholas, please!“  
„I beg you pardon, sir“ We cling glasses, smiling broadly at each other.  
„Honestly“ he chuckles . „ I don^t need that master/sir- crap at all. I^m pretty fine with Nicholas.Ok then, Mister Taylor. Close your eyes. I want you to imagine how you feel when you come into a semi dark hotel room after concert. It was a very good show…let^s say it was Osaka, the first one. How did you feel?“  
„High on adrenaline. Happy. Exhausted.“  
« Do you have a hard-on ? »  
« What ? » my eyes flutter open again and I giggle like a school boy.  
„Does it never happen to you? That you get hard during a concert or afterwards because of all the excitement ? All the adrenaline and testosterone and the sexual energy of the crowd ?“ he wonders.  
„Duh. No. I^m busy enough with thwo stiffen sticks, I don^t need a third one!“ I blurt and Nick breaks out in laughter.  
„ No hard-on, I get it. OK.You are coming into that hotel room after show, feeling high and exhausted and buzzing with happiness, yeah ?And all you want is to do what ? »  
« Having a shower, a drink and then bed. »  
„Do you go into the bathroom fully dressed or do you take off your clothes before you go for the shower?“  
„Before“  
„STOP!“  
„What?“ I^m a bit puzzled now, I have to say. What is he up to?  
„That^s what i would say when you start to undress you.“ He says, looking me straight in the eyes.  
„Aha. I didn^t know you are in my hotel room.“ And i didn^t know that he would involve ME in his little fantasy here. This is…weird.  
„Well, I am.And I say stop.“  
„Why?  
„Because if I would be in this hotel room with you, you would not be allowed to undress yourself. I^d take care of that.“ Is it me or has his tone changed? No,his voice is definetely a wee bit darker now and his eyes…uh. What^s going on here?  
„But before…“ he leans closer. « Before I^d unbotton your shirt…its the sleveless striped one, isn^t it ?...before I do that, you have to ask for it. Nicely. Like *Nicholas, would you take of my shirt, please ?* »  
What the fuck ? Where is this little butterfly in my stomach coming from ?  
This is Nick! Nick! I know him since he wasn^t even 17. He is one of my best friends.  
„What if I won^t do that?“ I hear myself asking, my eyes locked with his. „What if I^m all tired and all i want is to shower and to sleep?“  
„Then..“ he comes even closer, his nose is almost touching mine and the intense green of his irises seems to burn me. „ I will make you beg for it! You prefer the hard way, don^t you, Roger? I like that.“  
What…the..fuck…  
I can barely breathe, I can’t look away. I can’t move. He is literally fixing me with his gaze.  
A devilish little smile appears on this well known face. « I will grab your hair. Tightly. Painfully tight.I will pull your head back and I will lick over that beautiful sweaty throat of your^s“  
He blows slightly against my throat , giving me goosebumps all over.  
„Will you ask me to unbotton your shirt now?“ his voice is only a whisper, his breath on my skin like a caress. Or a torture, rather.  
« No. » My pulse is racing, I feel a drop of sweat running down my neck. All my senses are sharpened. I can smell him, his exclusive after shave. Lemon and sandal wood.  
« if you think I give you pain just because you are provoking me, Roger, I have to tell you that it isn^t working. The hairpull is all you get. And I^m doing that to expose your throat. Do you know that this is a gesture of pure submission, showing one that so very vulnerable part of your body? What I will do now, Roger, is to stroke you through the fabric of your pants, flat palm against your crotch. I will never stop licking your throat. Maybe I^ll nibble at it, just a bit, to make you think that i^ll bite at any second, but i won^t. I will only lick. And kiss. I will drive you nuts. Once you^re hard, hard and panting, i will stop.“  
This is Nick! Holy fuck! Nicholas James Bates, and he sits opposite of me in my kitchen and gives me a hard on just from talking! The way he rolls the *r^s* in my name is utterly, utterly erotic and …dear god. This is NICK!  
„Nick…please..stop that“ I stutter helplessly.  
„Why so?“ his thump touches my lips and I almost automatically open my mouth, letting him in.  
Oh god…oh god….oooooooh god!  
I am licking Nick^s thumb. I am sucking at Nick^s thump. And still I can’t look away, I can’t escape from his gaze.  
„I think you are right, Roger.I think you indeed have quite a submissive side. « he says quietly, pulling his finger out.  
I feel my own saliva on my cheek when he gently caresses my face and finally my eyes fall shut.  
« Do you have a hard-on now ? » his voice is like honey.  
« Yes » It simply makes no sense to deny that.  
« Me, too. I actually think my hard –on never has faded for long since I saw you in that club. That was quite a shock, Roger, do you know that ? You never have noticed, huh ? You never have noticed that I have onehell of a crush on you. »  
Yeah, this is Nick. What if Nick is all I ever wanted ?  
„Will you ask for it now, Roger?“  
I know we are no longer in one imaginary hotel room. We are in my kitchen, it^s sunday morning, I^m slightly dizzy from champagne and the exclusive after shave of my very dear friend and bandmate Nick bloody fucking Rhodes.  
„Nick..Nicholas..would you…please take off my shirt?“  
„I will. In your bedroom. Show me your bedroom“

I stand absolutely still when he undresses me.  
Nick takes his time. He touches and kisses every inch of my skin. There^s not the slightest bit of pain involved, but never ever have I felt so deep into another world.  
Once I^m naked he steps back to look at me and I^m quite aware of the welts on my body. I wish they won^t be there. I wish Nick won^t see the marks another man has left on me.  
„Has he fucked you?“ he asks.  
„No, Nick, he hasn^t . You have been there, you know he hasn^t!“  
„I left when he started to lube you. I didn^t want to see that.“ He pulls me in his arms now and for the first time I feel his soft lips on mine.  
„He hasn^t. It was only a plug, Nick. I actually never got beyond a plug or fingers. So, Nicholas. Would you be the first one to fuck me, please ? »


End file.
